Fluent In Sarcasm Doormat
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The Fluent In Sarcasm Doormat
First impressions matter. And this doormat makes yours perfectly clear. The Fluent In Sarcasm doormat sets expectations before anyone even rings the bell.
Placed at your front door, back patio, or wherever guests need fair warning, this doormat is the first and last line of defense between your personal space and the outside world. It is functional. It is funny. It is not sorry.
Made from durable coir fiber with a non-slip backing, this doormat handles foot traffic, weather, and judgment equally well. The print is designed to last through seasons of use and unsolicited visitors.
Why This Doormat?
- Premium coir fiber construction, built to last
- Non-slip rubber backing keeps it in place
- Printed design that holds up to weather and foot traffic
- Perfect housewarming gift for people with a sense of humor
- Made to order, zero waste, shipped directly to your door (pun intended)
Your door. Your rules. Wear Your Dark Side.
Complete the Set
Love this design? It is also available as the mug, the sticker, the poster, the magnet, the coaster set and the tote bag. Mix and match to spread the joke across your entire life. Browse all designs in our Dark Humor collection.
Size Guide
Size Guide
Size Guide
Find your perfect fit with our sizing chart below. All measurements are in inches.
| Size | Chest | Length |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 31" - 34" | 27" |
| S | 34" - 37" | 28" |
| M | 38" - 41" | 29" |
| L | 42" - 45" | 30" |
| XL | 46" - 49" | 31" |
| 2X | 50" - 53" | 32" |
| 3X | 54" - 57" | 33" |
| 4X | 58" - 61" | 34" |
Measurements are approximate and may vary slightly by style and print partner.
Sizing Tips
- Between sizes? We recommend sizing up for a relaxed, comfortable fit.
- Want a fitted look? Go with your exact size.
- Chest measurement: Measure around the fullest part of your chest, keeping the tape level.
- Length measurement: Measured from the highest point of the shoulder to the bottom hem.
Still not sure? Hit us up at hello@stoneytshirts.com and we'll help you find your fit.
Shipping & Returns
Shipping & Returns
Shipping Information
We want your order to reach you as quickly and safely as possible. Here is what to expect when you place an order with us.
Processing Time
All orders are processed within 2-5 business days after payment is confirmed. You will receive a confirmation email with tracking information once your order ships.
Domestic Shipping
Standard domestic shipping typically takes 3-7 business days after processing. Delivery times may vary depending on your location and carrier volume.
International Shipping
We do offer international shipping. Delivery times for international orders vary by destination and may be subject to customs processing. Any duties or import taxes are the responsibility of the buyer.
Free Shipping
Enjoy free shipping on all orders over $50 within the United States.
Returns & Exchanges
Your satisfaction matters to us. If something is not right with your order, we are here to help.
30-Day Return Policy
We accept returns within 30 days of delivery for unworn, unwashed items in their original condition with tags attached. To start a return, please contact us with your order number and reason for the return.
Defective or Damaged Items
If you receive a defective or damaged item, we will replace it at no cost to you. Please reach out to us within 7 days of delivery with photos of the issue and we will get a replacement sent out right away.
Refund Processing
Once we receive your returned item and confirm it meets our return criteria, your refund will be processed within 5-7 business days to your original payment method.
Have questions? Reach out to us anytime and we will be happy to help.
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